Selarik Senja: September 2017

When someone walked out from your life, you always thought that they are not good for you and that you don't deserve them. But, what if, the truth is, that you are not good for them and they don't deserve you, so God made you walked out from their life?

The idea of i'm not good enough for someone is haunting me and killing me slowly, while i try my best to be good for everyone around me and make them happy.

.....but, you're not gonna walk out from my life, right? You're gonna stay, hopefully, forever.

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"Do we not enter this world a little broken? Damaged goods with awkward smiles. Searching for the glue we call love."

― Michael Faudet

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Actually, i'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm afraid of change, i'm afraid of rejection, i'm afraid of choosing wrong decisions, i'm afraid of difference, i'm afraid of my own future, i'm afraid of leaving my comfort zone, i'm afraid of loneliness, i'm afraid of sadness, i'm afraid of disappointment, i'm afraid of losing someone i love. I'm afraid of a lot of things, even i'm afraid of life itself.

.....but, aren't we all afraid though?

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"You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dream you have, the conversations you engage in. You are what you take from these. You are the sound of the ocean, the breath of fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner. You are a collective of every experience you have had in your life. You are every single second of every single day. So drown yourself in a sea of knowledge and existence. Let the words run through your veins and let the colors fill your mind."

― Jac Vanek

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"You owe yourself the love that you so freely give to other people"

We always focus to love everyone else and find someone that loves us, but forget one important thing: self-love —loving ourself. In my eyes, loving ourself is such a huge steps to do, it sounds simple but hard to do.

I know it sounds cliche but self-love should come first, before anyone, before anything. Self-love meaning no more comparing ourself to others; "how can she be so pretty?", "why can she be so lucky?", "i wish i was her". Stop, just stop comparing ourself to others because that will make us tend to less appreciate ourself.

Self-love meaning we're grateful for whoever we are. No more doubting ourself. We have to live our own dream, stand in our own values, believe in our own skills.

By loving ourself, we must be comfortable with our own skin, our own life, our own choice. You don't have to change for anyone else but you, you change just for yourself, change to be better version of you just for yourself.

Loving ourself mean we must accept our flaws and try to fix it— if it can be fixed. But if not? We can accept it and be thankful for it, because everyone has their own flaws and that make them unique.

"Don't forget to fall in love with yourself first" - Carrie Bradshaw.

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